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Making the Best of a Hospital Stay
by Debbie Kapke
If we learned anything during our hospital stay it was, how to deal as effectively as possible in that environment. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but we did pick up a few tips that helped us along:
Accept the help that is offered to you. Undoubtedly family, friends and neighbors want to help in a situation where there is an extended hospital stay. These kind-hearted people really want to help, and many will not know how. In the beginning you may be inclined to want to handle everything yourself. At first we were uneasy accepting or asking for assistance. But we got over it! We soon realized that we needed the help more then we could have imagined.
Ways those around you can help: mowing the lawn, watering and upkeep of the lawn and garden, snow removal, walking the dog, feeding pets, bringing in the mail, pick-up other children from school, pick-up other children for events and activities
Practical ideas when someone wants to send a gift. Shortly after the news of our daughter’s hospitalization began to spread, the gifts started to pour in non-stop. By the third day, she was the proud owner of every adorable teddy bear in the state. She had stacks of coloring books and crayons, and we had definitely reached our legal limit for Mylar balloons. We were very grateful for the generosity extended to Emily, and that thoughtfulness really helped during the first few days. However, when you are looking at an extended hospital stay you may be asked for gift ideas for your child after all the stuffed animals and crayons have disappeared off the shelf!
We began to suggest gifts such as:
favorite non-perishable snack items that were not readily available at the hospital (i.e. Gold Fish crackers, popcorn, cereal, granola bars, candy, canned soups), decorations to decorate the hospital room, a special play date for the sibling children; a movie, ice cream, a day at the park or the zoo. We found time to be the greatest gift of all!
Items to bring to the hospital. Again hindsight is 20/20, but I would have loved to have the following items on hand from the start of our hospital stay.
A few ideas to have along are: a notebook (to record names, phone numbers, web sites, medical information, questions you have for your doctor, or things you need to discuss with your spouse) cleaning supplies (you will have times when you will want to disinfect or clean up after a project) thank you notes (to send out in your spare time), a cordless phone (it sounds crazy, but after a few weeks of being tethered to the phone while your child asks you for a snack or some help, it will make sense!), a radio or portable CD player (you can usually get one from child life but they may not have any available when you want one).
Other invaluable tidbits:
Enjoy the few moments you are able to spend with your spouse; they will be few and far between. Even if you take a walk down to the cafeteria for some coffee, try to re-connect as often as possible.
All too soon your normal sleep patterns will be history! If you and your child are used to getting 6 to 8 hours of sleep, you may still be able to get them. Unfortunately, they may not all be together or in a row. Naps will become standard practice! If you or your child needs quiet time, unplug your phone and hang a “Quiet…Napping” sign on the door.
Ask someone in your family to serve as a contact person. Rather than explaining what is going on to everyone you know, ask all your friends and family to contact one person who you will update regularly.
Create a web page to keep friends and family in touch and aware of what is going on at the hospital. www.caringbridge.org is a web site where you can build a web page about your child. It is very easy to set up. You do not need extensive computer knowledge or prior experience in order to establish your page. Update this site as frequently as you are able. There is also a guest book where friends and family can leave messages for you child. That is still Emily’s favorite part about her web site. It was a way she could keep in touch with the people she really missed! Your friends and loved ones will want to know what is happening and this is a great way to keep everyone informed.
Establish a web-based email address (i.e. yahoo.com) so that you can communicate with friends and loved ones from the hospital.
If you or your spouse uses a cell phone, consider getting a second phone added. Most cellular companies now offer an additional phone for $10.00 a month, with calls between the two phones free of charge. This is just one more way for you and your spouse to stay connected. It also allows your spouse to reach you if you are out of your room.
Above all keep an open mind, a positive attitude and a strong and vigilant hold on faith.
Copyright 2005 by Debbie Kapke
Capital Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Alliance Newsletter, Spring 2005
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their families, survivors of childhood cancer and the professionals who
care for them.
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